Someone is Missing at Christmas by Anne Cochran

To all those that I am missing this year. From friends, to Mom's, to my loving husband Earl.
I love you and miss you all.

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below

With tiny lights, like Heaven’s stars, reflecting on the snow

The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear

For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear

But the sounds of music can’t comparewith the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,

For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart

But I am not so far away, we really aren’t apart.

So be happy for me, dear ones, you know I hold you dear.

And be glad I’m spending Christmaswith Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.

I sent you each a memory of my undying love.

After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold

It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do

For I can’t count the blessing or love he has for each of you

So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear

Remember, I am spending Christmaswith Jesus Christ this year

(by Author Unknown)

Would have been 17 years today.

I have been thinking about in Esther 4:14b ...and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?

There have been many times that I thought that another time period would have suited me more. But lately I have been considering Esther and that she was put there for that time. It has made me wonder what I have been put here for this time. There are things that come to mind, but I am thinking along the spiritual aspect. I know that it probably won't be for saving a group of people like Esther. However I want to make sure that I am ready and willing to be there for just one. I feel very consumed with day to day living, taking care of my girls, that I have found my self going days without really praying and without devotions. Not even realizing it until days have gone by or I'm in bed lights out when it comes to mind. So I have begun to write a scripture on Facebook every day and then I am in the word and I have my devotions. Though taking care of my family is important so is being an example of Godliness and teaching them. I don't think that I will be ready for any "Esther" duties if I haven't studied, or talked to my Father.

So what's been happening in your spiritual life this month?

A new contest. The ladies are having a scrappy quilt giveaway. Go check out their blog, because there is so much neat stuff over there.

Can you believe that September is almost done. October is one of my favorite months. My anniversary is in it, my first girls birthday, many of my family and friends have their birthday in Oct. Fall comes and the trees are beautiful, Thanksgiving and Christmas are just a few months away.
There are things in my life that are uncomfortable right now. Doing things I've never done before, sometimes getting sad and mad that I am having to do them. Bury animals, pay bills, fill out forms, learning how to budget. Ugh No wonder my wonderful husband was tired all the time. Yet not once did he complain, or show me how to do some things, haha.
In my Christian walk I am learning that there are some things that I can't do that other can do with no problems. I am learning that though the valley is hard, I am not alone. My Heavenly Father walks close beside. Sometimes the walk is easy, other times one step is all I can do.

Homeschooling is off to a roaring start. We had a Picnic celebration to start off the new year. We have also gone on one field trip. On Sept 11th we went to tour a WWII ship, had a nice time. The kids all got these "clicker" things that was a souvenir. A gentleman told us that parachuters would jump at night and they would have the clickers with them, then when someone approached you you would click once and if the person approaching didn't click twice back, you would start shooting because you knew it wasn't one of your guys. We also observed the stern wheel boats.

Pictures of group that went, the real reason why I would NEVER be in the Navy 4 bunks right on top of each other (No way) and the children being told how to go Snipe hunting (yes I know snipes are hard to hunt ;P)

Fall is fast approaching, my favorite time of the year. Suzy goes tomorrow to have her speech evaluated. Sammi is learning so many new things. She learned to write her name in the first week of school though the S is still giving her fits. Beth's birthday is just under a month and the girls have already started telling me what they want for Christmas though that changes every week. Suzy is walking with the help of her walking toy, just not on her own yet. I am getting a little tired of facebook but are too nosy to stop looking at it. Haha

September 4, 2010

Gone 5 months today.

When tomorrow starts without me.

And I'm not there to see;

If the sun should rise and find your eyes

All filled with tears for me.

I wish so much you wouldn't cry.

The way you did today;

While thinking of the many things

We didn't get to say.

So when tomorrow starts without me,

Don't think we're far apart

For every time you think of me,

I'm right here in your heart.

Well school is off to a roaring start. My kindergardener is loving every minute of it except the coloring. It "bores" her. But learning do things even when you don't want to is part of growing up is the answer that the teacher/Mother gives her (while washing her dishes and folding socks YUCK). Beth is starting fine just seems a little down or something. So I am waiting her out to see what is going on. Could be that she misses her friends or that she just hates Math and English that much, who knows.

These are a couple pictures from church camp.

Beth helping out

Sammi in the ending program

Its almost 5 a.m. and I have been awake for 3 hours. I have been missing Earl so much lately. It seems so many things have happened that remind me of him and everything that we would do together. As far as I know not to many people read my blog, so I decided to VENT on here.
The last dog that Earl and I owned in NY died this week and while I was burying her. I couldn't help thinking that it was Earl's job to take care of this part.
The girls start homeschool this week. Earl would have been teasing them and getting their dander up and Beth would have been teasing him that he still had to work.
Please don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have Earl back to be in pain for any reason, its just all my dreams included him and his dreams. And lately I just don't know what to do now that my dream has died. I never dreamed that the loneliness would be this horrible. I try very hard to be upbeat for our girls because they need to be happy and remember their Daddy with laughter not tears. I was thinking the other day about how when you walk down memory lane and tell stories your husband backs you up and helps you remember the details.
My brother came and got Earls guns to hunt with them this fall, Earl was hoping to get a deer this year. And he wanted to teach the girls how to hunt, especially rabbits. He thought that Sammi would be the best hunter and he didn't know about Suzy yet. Our last hunting trip consisted of me trying to push the stroller through the brush while he's 100 yards down the trail hollering for help with the dog. I wound up calling my brother and his friend to come helps us. We didn't get the dog till 2 days later.
Those that say "it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all", should try it. THough I wouldn't give up my memories at all. I just wish we could have made more of them.
Enough venting, its not helping, but I do love my Early and I miss him terribly.

Pretending that they aren't playing in the sand

The guys fixing the tarp on the roof at Vermontville.

Veiws when we left Monday morning.

The girls first time picking anything at an orchard.

At Cabella's Safari exhibit.

Sammi in "Woodsville" You had to be at camp to know what I'm talking about haha.

Its very hard to get Sammi to look at the camera haha

We have had a wonderful 12 days of vacation so far. Camp meeting was good with 2 wonderful evangelist. Decisions made, friendships renewed, wisdom gained. We are still Vacationing, but I am looking forward to coming home. Will post pictures later.

Happy Birthday my Love,

We miss you very much.

We went to a reinactment down in Point Pleasant, at Fort Randolph. The girls got to feel how heavy the bed roll was. The actor told us that in the 1700's they called it a "budget" and that the hunters would take them everywhere. The actor thought that is where the saying "Don't live beyond your budget" came from. Because they would have all their stuff rolled up in their budget.

Suzy enjoying the day at the reinactment

Sammi was helping me plant strawberries. She got more dirt on her than in the planter :).

I took myself out to celebrate Mother's Day this was the girls hamming it up.

I took the girls picture in the grass, Suzy cried and cried she was afraid of the grass

April 29th, 2010

Happy 5th Birthday

Samantha Mae-Gwyn Bickford

Sammi Sidecar

Goodbye my Love,

Born June 30, 1957 Died April 4, 2010

And my heart went with him.

Suzy's birthday cake made by my friend April

Suzy and I at the Wildhorse

Sammi and me. Sammi loves this resturant only because it is full of cowboy and horse decoration

Beth and me. She was worried that she would fall in the wishing well. Sammi kept asking for quarters instead of pennies to throw in. Needless to say that DIDN'T happen. Earl hates the food at this place but I like it so once a year he takes me and suffers through it.